From a personal journal entry shortly after returning from Israel
June, 28, 2022
Years ago, Jesus, I heard you say that You would be my guide in Jerusalem. Ever since that time, I have imagined myself wandering the streets of the ancient city with only You as my companion. It was a beautiful thought, and perhaps it will come to pass in time, but it did not happen on this trip. Having now visited the holy city, I realize how impractical my fantasies were. I cannot imagine trying to enter old Jerusalem, much less navigating its crowded throngs, without a flesh and blood guide. I am glad I was not alone. Even so, I did long to get away with You.
I told you this one night in the Galilee. After being with people constantly for more than three weeks, I asked when You would come speak to me. When will You be my guide, I asked?
”I am in Marianna,” You replied. “I live in her. I am showing You the land through her.”
That was the theme of the entire trip - we who have been born of the Spirit are living temples. We have the mind of Christ. In the New Jerusalem, there will be no Temple, for God will dwell with men in fullness. The whole city will be holy for the Godhead resides there.
Last night I woke up pondering what it means for the Father to have a Son, “begotten and not created.” What does it mean for the Son to share fully in the eternal nature and power of the Father? Why does the Son suffer to manifest the perfection of His union with the Father?
Satan, of course, was given a share in the Father’s glory. He was not begotten of the Father, but he was endowed with majesty and wisdom beyond mortal reckoning. Yet he turned on his Creator. He who had seen the Father’s glory refused to bow.
But Jesus, the Begotten Son, remained true. He resisted the devil’s temptations to doubt His Father. He refused to give into the devil’s taunts to prove His identity or use His power in anyway contrary to the Father’s will. Jesus resisted the temptation to act contrary to the Father’s desire even in the throes of His suffering, when He could not see the Father. He remained true when He could not feel the consolation of the Father’s nearness. The fact that Jesus, unlike Satan, remained true in His agony gives me hope that we who have been born of God’s Spirit can be like Him, the One who “did not regard equality with God something to be grasped. Rather, He emptied Himself taking the form of a servant and being born in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself, becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on the cross.” History proves this hope is well founded. Thousands of saints through the ages have shown themselves to be true brothers and sisters of Christ in their virtue and their suffering.
Now that I am home from Israel, pondering what You said about Marianna, I am thinking of this verse from John. “To everyone who received Him (Jesus), who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.” Is it true that being born again is more that just adoption? Do I really believe that the Spirit of the Only Begotten abides within me? For if I do, then I can trust Christ’s spirit will sustain me even in darkness, even when I cannot feel God’s presence.
Of course Jesus says there is another option. We can prove ourselves children of the devil if we desire what he desires (John 8:44) But that is not what I want, Father! I want to be a true temple of the Holy Spirit.