As Glenn's life (and countless others) shows, forgiving always involves the conscious decision to stop hating, because hating can never help. Contrary to the simplistic proverb "forgive and forget", however, it does not necessarily require forgetting. Who can cast off the memories of a childhood marked by abuse? and how can someone in a wheelchair possibly forget that he or she will never walk again? Nor does it need to involve confronting the perpetrator. In the case of sexual trauma, this is probably not even advisable. Still, for some people, a face to face reckoning may prove to be the only way forward.
Source: Johann Christoph Arnold - Why Forgive?, pp.9
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