Today is Good Friday, the day we as a Church, as a Bride betrothed, set our eyes upon the cross. When I was young, I found the image of Christ crucified too painful, too frightening to contemplate. Now that I am older, I understand the crucifixion as the holy pivot of history, a sacred event which every person must “attend” in a mystical sense. Both angels and men must respond.
I am thankful for the artists who help us through their paintings to enter Christ’s Passion. I am always moved by images of Mary and the other women standing unflinching below the cross. In that moment they push aside their own grief and fear to look up at Jesus in love. They cannot change the course of that day, but they remain in His view and their faith is a balm poured over the insults hurled by His mockers.
As much as I love that image, it is not how I see myself. I am a beggar, grasping the wood of the cross. I know that Jesus is hanging there for me, because He wants to be with me. But unless I am washed in His blood that cannot happen. I am not like Him. I have spoken words inspired by the Accuser. I sinned in what I have done and what I have failed to do. I have sown seeds of death which I cannot uproot. My sorrow cannot heal the wounds I have inflicted on others and on myself. My remorse cannot make right the harm I have. But the blood of Jesus has power beyond all I can ask or imagine, so I stand there undone and receive His flow.
As I imagine Jesus’ blood washing over my sins, I hear Jesus asking me an unexpected question. Will I let His blood heal the wounds I have suffered? He reminds me that His sacrifice is the Father’s judgment on those who have sinned against me. The Father cares and has rendered sentence - the death of His Son. Is His death enough for me? Or does my heart cling to thoughts of human retribution which cannot restore what is lost? Will I receive the healing I pray for those I have hurt?
How does one respond to such love? The words of Psalm 116 are the only way I know. “What return shall I make to the Lord for all the good He has done for me? I shall take the cup of salvation. I shall call upon the name of the Lord.”
I have no heroism to offer. And no righteousness of my own. All I can give Him is my desire to be with Him, as He desires me. And so I drink His cup.