A few days ago, while cleaning my room, I came across an old prayer journal. Before placing it on the shelf, I opened the pages and came across this entry from Dec. 7, 2011. My son Justus was twelve years old, and John was eight at the time.
Last night I took Justus to youth group. While I was gone, Peggy and John decided to decorate the Christmas tree. When Justus came home, he was sad because he had been left out. Later last night, he began crying, and his tears tore John’s heart.
John came downstairs crying his own tears, saying he felt he could never be forgiven. I called Justus downstairs and held both boys in my arms, while my heart hurt for them both. I believe they were comforted. I know they were reconciled. Justus read John a Curious George story before they went back to bed.
Lord, I believe Your heart is tender toward Your children who bring their pain to You, just I felt toward my sons. I pray that John and Justus would always bring their pain, and their sin to You. I pray that You would help me run to You in my pain.
How I wish we adults, especially in this tense and trying season, would act as simply as my boys did that evening! That we would feel our pain, instead of denying or medicating it. That we would be vulnerable enough to show our brothers and sisters where and why we hurt. That we would grieve with one another, especially the ones we have offended, without blame or defensiveness. That we would run together to the Father and find comfort in His arms. That we would express sorrow for our sin (even unintentional offense) and merciful forgiveness with concrete action.
We adults usually prefer to hide our hurt. We have been mocked, rejected , and accused too many times. People can be cruel. Even brothers and sisters in Christ. Rejection on top of hurt is hard for the human heart to bear. But when we refuse to be vulnerable, we deny those who hurt us the opportunity to grieve with us. We cut short the path to full reconciliation. Sometimes that cannot be helped. When those who have offended us have done so intentionally and without repentance, the time is not ripe for reconciliation.
Even when reconciliation with a brother or sister is not possible, we have a refuge in the the Father’s arms. We can always run to the Father. We must run to the Father! He is always safe. However He much prefers to hold His children, both the offended and the offender, together in His arms. When we open ourselves to His shared embrace, the healing runs deep. So deep that we find ourselves bound closer in love to our family.
I’ve been thankful this week to be reminded of this moment of grace, though I felt sad at the time. Recalling the way my boys loved one another that night in 2011 helped me understand Jesus’ admonition, “Unless you become like little children, You shall not enter the Kingdom.”
Jesus, in this season of loss and upheaval, the world is hurting. People are easily offended. May we love You and lead others into Your kingdom by becoming once again like little children.
