Thank you, St. Bonaventure

I have been praying the Office of Readings for roughly a decade now, and there are still passages which take my breath away.  I often wonder why pastors don't borrow more heavily from the treasures of saints who have passed this way before.  Below is gem left by St. Bonaventure (1221-1274) who is considered the first Franciscan theologian, a doctor of the church.  For several days I have been pondering his revelation about the passage, "No one can look on God and live."

Anyone interested in exploring the Office of Readings can find it at universalis.com

Second Reading

From the Journey of the Mind to God by St. Bonaventure

Mystical wisdom is revealed by the Holy Spirit

Christ is both the way and the door. Christ is the staircase and the vehicle, like the throne of mercy over the Ark of the Covenant, and the mystery hidden from the ages. A man should turn his full attention to this throne of mercy, and should gaze at him hanging on the cross, full of faith, hope and charity, devoted, full of wonder and joy, marked by gratitude, and open to praise and jubilation. Then such a man will make with Christ a pasch, that is, a passing-over. Through the branches of the cross he will pass over the Red Sea, leaving Egypt and entering the desert. There he will taste the hidden manna, and rest with Christ in the sepulchre, as if he were dead to things outside. He will experience, as much as is possible for one who is still living, what was promised to the thief who hung beside Christ: Today you will be with me in paradise.

  For this passover to be perfect, we must suspend all the operations of the mind and we must transform the peak of our affections, directing them to God alone. This is a sacred mystical experience. It cannot be comprehended by anyone unless he surrenders himself to it; nor can he surrender himself to it unless he longs for it; nor can he long for it unless the Holy Spirit, whom Christ sent into the world, should come and inflame his innermost soul. Hence the Apostle says that this mystical wisdom is revealed by the Holy Spirit.

  If you ask how such things can occur, seek the answer in God’s grace, not in doctrine; in the longing of the will, not in the understanding; in the sighs of prayer, not in research; seek the bridegroom not the teacher; God and not man; darkness not daylight; and look not to the light but rather to the raging fire that carries the soul to God with intense fervour and glowing love. The fire is God, and the furnace is in Jerusalem, fired by Christ in the ardour of his loving passion. Only he understood this who said: My soul chose hanging and my bones death. Anyone who cherishes this kind of death can see God, for it is certainly true that: No man can look upon me and live.

  Let us die, then, and enter into the darkness, silencing our anxieties, our passions and all the fantasies of our imagination. Let us pass over with the crucified Christ from this world to the Father, so that, when the Father has shown himself to us, we can say with Philip: It is enough. We may hear with Paul: My grace is sufficient for you; and we can rejoice with David, saying: My flesh and my heart fail me, but God is the strength of my heart and my heritage for ever. Blessed be the Lord for ever, and let all the people say: Amen. Amen!

Contemplating the Trinity - Part II

As I mentioned last month, I've been thinking a lot about the Trinity.   Apparently my two-year old has tuned into the same wavelength.  Last week she brought me a book to read, Goldilocks and the Three Bears. I was busy at the time so I asked if she could read it herself.  Excited by the prospect of doing something so grown-up, she sat down and began confidently. "Once upon a time there were three bears - the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit."  I laughed in surprise and delight. Later that night I realized that there is an illustration of the three beasts in Clara's book which bears a certain resemblance to the famous Rublev icon.

We are all children playing at theology when we stand before the Trinity.  This cannot be helped for the reality we Christians profess is something far beyond human experience.  Our words are doomed to fall short, but that does not mean we should say nothing. Contemplating the Trinity is necessary for the growth of a Christian. I am glad that Clara is starting early!

Our hearts and minds stretch as we meditate on our Creator.  If we believe that humans are made in the image of God, our perception of God should direct our desires, our goals, our formation.   Is God a joyful God, or an angry God, or a God without emotion as we understand? Does He enjoy the fellowship of persons fully capable of returning His love, or is He entirely alone and transcendent?  Within the Godhead, do the persons of the Trinity submit to one another, honor one another, delight in one another; or is submission only for humans? Our beliefs about these questions have a huge impact on our worship, on our affections, on our relationship with others.

From the time I was very young, I understood that theologians could go only so far in their attempts to describe God.  It has taken me much longer to realize that the Law has the same limitations for exactly the same reasons.  I find this thought about the Law both unsettling and reassuring. I'll try to explain what I mean.

If theology attempts to tell us what God is like, then moral law attempts to tell us what God likes, what pleases Him. Because we believe God is good, we also believe that all He wills is good. Religious law instructs men in God's will by regulating, prescribing and forbidding certain practices. Clearly moral law is of great benefit to society.  It is a practical expression of God's justice, His truth, His care for the poor.  The Old Testament also offers some fascinating rules regarding the treatment of land and animals.  As Paul so accurately described the Law, it is a tutor given to train us in the ways of God.  

In order for the Law to achieve its purpose, it must be obeyed. Submission is a spiritual practice which forms us and blesses society.  When individuals or societies throw off the yoke of the law, chaos follows.  Jesus himself obeyed the Law. In fact, he is the only one who ever kept it perfectly; yet the Pharisees accused Jesus of flaunting sacred tradition.  The Son of God, the Second Person of the Trinity, the Word made Flesh was not strict enough in the eyes of the Pharisees.

I love what Adrienne von Speyer writes about the obedience of Jesus.      

"The Lord is obedient in a double sense.  First of all, he is obedient to the Father and to his task.....As a man, however, he remains obedient with regard to his fellow men.  Mary and Joseph have in him an obedient son who learns human ways from them as any (other) person in the world.  Indeed, he does this in such a way that he never measures the distance between his human parents and His Father in heaven so as to discover a discrepancy."

But there did come a time for the twleve-year-old Jesus when obedience to the Father caused  distress to his earthly parents.  Von Speyer continues...

"Jesus could not spare his parents the search for him.  Even in the obedience of the most obedient, gaps, holes, missing links come to light for which God alone is responsible.  Those who obey must, for this reason, lay their obedience bare in order that God might fill up the the empty spaces. They must render their obedience without strings attached, so that it will no longer be their possession, fully transparent in every detail.  The transparency lies in God.  And when the human eye is no longer capable of figuring things out, the obeyer knows that God sees everything and administers obedience precisely as his possession. "     

If we understand that our words necessarily fall short in describing God's nature, it follows that we can never perfectly capture his will in our laws. God's will is too great to fit neatly into a written code. As von Speyer says, there will always be gaps; there will always be contradictions where we must lean on the direction of the Holy Spirit. 

When I think of the gaps, I think of Cardinal Ratzinger serving communion to Brother Roger at the funeral of John Paul II. (See my post on John Paul II if this reference is unfamiliar.) Surely those two men understood that act as obedience even though it violated some rules.  I can remember times in my own life when obedience took me into uncomfortable territory.  I have felt the raised eyebrows of my brothers and sisters looking at my actions from the sidelines, and I could sympathize with their perspective. However, I knew that obedience in those situations was demanded of me and no other.  God would be my judge rather than a jury of peers.

I can also remember times in my life when I clearly sinned, when I failed to do what I knew was right.  Even in that place, I felt the comfort of my transparency before God.  I knew that He could look straight into my heart and see when "my spirit was willing, but my flesh was weak."  I knew that He could discern the difference between my immaturity and my rebellion more easily than I can see the difference in my two-year old.  And I have always hoped that He would carry me to maturity as long as that was my desire.

During WWII many Christians disobeyed German civil authority by hiding Jews in their homes.  Some of these individuals lied about their activities without compunction.  Others felt that lying was always wrong, even when lives were at stake, because lying was contrary to moral law.  Corrie ten Boom recounts this difference of opinion as the only serious rift in their family.  But in their case, God covered both decisions. The obedience these families offered to God was offered to Him alone, and was received by Him.  Thinking about this example, and the example of Cardinal Ratzinger and Brother Roger, I more easily understand Paul's exhortation to refrain from judging one another.  Obedience is offered to God from children who see in a mirror dimly.  My understanding of the law is incomplete, just as Clara's perception of the Trinity is still in formation.  But I believe that God receives every gift of obedience with great delight, just as Clara's meditation delighted me.    



Symbols of an Empire

Though I was a studious kid who loved history, my head always reeled when I read about lines of European nobility. I could never remember who had married whom for political reasons. I lost track of the Holy Roman emperors after Charlemagne. And my grasp of European geography before WWII was hazy at best. I am a concrete thinker who needs a tangible connection with the past, and that is just what I got in Vienna. Seeing the Habsburg palaces was like the dust particle necessary for condensing the vaporous historical information floating around my brain. Old lessons came rushing back, complete with flashes of insight about their current relevance. Since I've been home my dreams have been filled with European geopolitics. 

The Habsburg house ruled multiple provinces in central and eastern Europe between the years of 1526 and 1918. Several Holy Roman emperors were elected from the Habsburg monarchs, though the two roles were always distinct and some of the Habsburg lands lay outside the Holy Roman Empire. The Habsburg family united their lands into the Austrian Empire in 1804, and later the Austrian-Hungarian Empire which collapsed at the end of WWI.

On our first day in Vienna, we visited the Schönbrunn, the Habsburg summer palace.  The grounds were straight out of a fairy tale, complete with a zoo and labyrinth, fountains and playgrounds.  There was even a greenhouse for exotic cacti.  Being from Texas, we skipped that attraction. Below is a picture of the vast promenade leading from the palace to Gloriette Hill.  From the hill you can see the entire city, and it is stunning.

On the right side of walk, in front of the tree line, you can see several statues.  The statues depict various Greek and Roman heroes and deities. I knew that Renaissance Europe was enamored with classical art so this didn't surprise me.  But the sheer number of the images made me uneasy in a way I couldn't quite pin down.

The next day we visited the Hofburg, the Habsburg seat of power.  In my opinion the palace is not particularly beautiful on the outside, but it is grand on a scale I cannot describe.

At the boys' request we visited the weapons museum which was located on one floor of one small wing of the building, far from the entrance. The building itself was worth the price of admission! So much marble.  So much art "wasted" on fireplace grates and banister scrolls.  Halls so long you could not see the end.  It took us 90 minutes to explore just the hall of weapons, and from there, we could see three other museums in the same wing on the floors below.

This is the boys favorite museum ever. I was unaware of just how many suits of armor were floating around Europe.

This is the boys favorite museum ever. I was unaware of just how many suits of armor were floating around Europe.

Even the horse gallery is made of marble with crystal chandeliers and seating for at least 300 spectators.  Clara loved the dancing horses.

We wish Peggy could have seen this.

We wish Peggy could have seen this.

As we toured the Hofburg, my uneasiness at Schönbrunn returned and crystallized.  Once again, there were statues of war heroes and pagan gods everywhere, but no Christian symbols.  Not one statue of Jesus or a patron saint or an Old Testament patriarch.  None.  I suppose that is not too surprising. It is hard to find many symbols of imperial power in the gospels.

Even so, the Habsburgs were princes of Christendom.  When they served as Holy Roman emperors, it was supposedly their duty to defend the faith and govern the land on behalf of the Great King who would someday return and demand an account.  It seems that the Habsbrugs lost this vision, if they ever held it.

Our tour of the Hofburg reminded me of Tolkien and the Stewards of Gondor. I strongly suspect the Habsburgs, or perhaps the Holy Roman emperors, were Tolkien's inspiration for Denethor - a steward who had lost his hope for the return of the king.  Denethor considered himself the rightful ruler of the chief city of men, and he was not pleased when Aragorn did return.

The grandeur of the Habsburg palaces is amazing and fitting for stewards of a great and coming king.  Beauty is is divine gift, and art is a powerful teaching tool. The problem with the art of the Habsburg palaces is that is self-referential, to borrow one of Pope Francis' favorite terms. It fails to point toward the blessed hope of our faith.   In the gospel of Matthew, Jesus says that the Son of Man will return and gather the nations before him for judgment.  I fear that  will not be a happy day for many of the Habsburg princes.

Bread and Wine

He makes grass grow for the cattle,
    and plants for people to cultivate –
    bringing forth food from the earth:
 wine that gladdens human hearts,
    oil to make their faces shine,
    and bread that sustains their hearts.
Psalm 104:15-16

shabbat.jpg

Twice on our trip we celebrated the Friday evening Sabbath meal with our Messianic Jewish sister, Marianna, and many others. What a joy!

At Fr. Peter's house in Hainburg, we sat around two tables.  Marianna lit the candles.  Fr. Peter said a blessing over the wine and then the bread. (It is interesting to note the the Eucharistic prayer "Blessed are you, Lord, God of all creation. Through your goodness we have this bread to offer, which earth has given and human hands have made."  remains very similar to the Jewish Sabbath prayers.) We passed the cup, we broke bread, and then the singing commenced!

At first we sang a familiar song, one that Marianna taught us on her trip to Austin. 

Shabbat Shalom, Shabbat Shalom, Shabbat, Shabbat, Shabbat, Shabbat Shalom.

That is the extent of the Cogdells' Hebrew, but thankfully we had some singers and musicians in our midst with a bigger repertoire.  Our worship leader set in on another Hebrew song. Most around the table joined in.  At that point a young lady ran for her violin.  Everyone started clapping.The merriment continued for a third song, and our faces were truly shining.  If there had been a fourth, I am pretty sure someone would have danced on the table!  It was the happiest. most jubilant meal I have ever attended.  And the children were captivated, especially little Clara. "Mommy, sing the song the big people sang, " she begged at every bedtime afterwards.

I have to say, of the great Ten Commandments, the one I practice most poorly and understand the least is "Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy."  I do go to church on Sunday, which seems to be the extent of the Christian instruction I have received on the topic.  But in my heart I know there is something more to this commandment, something which is meant for all God's children and not just the Jews.  We have a need for rest, as a community and not just as individuals.  We need time for contemplation which does not come easily in the grind of work. We tend to lust after money, or success, or a perfectly clean house  - compulsions which steal time from our families and friends.  Submitting such cravings to God on a weekly basis seems a very healthy discipline.

I am aware that Jesus had much to say about rigid laws regarding the Sabbath.  There are many in our community that must work on the weekend because of economic necessity.  There are others (doctors, police, paramedics like my son) whose work on Saturdays or Sundays is a blessing to the community.  I am not advocating a return to the "good old days" when Sunday restrictions were the law of the land.  However...

I do love the Shabbat meal!  The intimate community and sharing of faith over the Shabbat is a bit lighter and earthier than our communion liturgies.  It is a meal of thanksgiving rather than a sacrament.  It is a place where all God's children can share wine and break bread with gratitude and fraternity. It is a practice we Cogdells may well adopt.

 

 

Watchman Nee

Watchman Nee
1903 – 1972

We arrived home this morning about 1:00 am after a long but peaceful journey.  I will write more about our trip in the days to come, but today I am going to post something I wrote a couple of years ago for George and Hanna Miley's book, Ancient Wells. Watchman Nee is one of my favorite teachers/ mentors/ friends in heaven I look forward to meeting him.  If he had been a Catholic, today would be his feast day - the anniversary of his martyrdom.  This piece is a bit longer than my usual posts, but worth the read for Nee's quotes.  The one at the end always brings me to tears.

In the first half of the twentieth century, God raised up a great witness in China. Nee Shu-tsu was born in 1903 in Foochow, China.  His grandfather was a Congregational minister and his parents were members of the Methodist Church.  Nee, however, did not identify himself as a Christian until he was seventeen years old. Being well acquainted with the gospel, he understood the cost of becoming a disciple of Jesus. It was not until he personally felt God’s call during an evangelistic meeting that he could bring himself to sacrifice a promising academic career. However, once Nee accepted Christ as his savior, he consecrated himself fully to preaching the gospel in China and building up the Church. He put his academic prowess to work immediately, composing his first sermons and pamphlets while he was still a teen.

Watchman Nee never attended seminary.  Instead, he read extensively and grew under the mentorship of an independent British missionary, Miss Margaret Barber.  Miss Barber’s primary influence on Nee was her own deep interior life. She also introduced him to a wealth of spiritual literature spanning a broad spectrum of Christian tradition.  He read the writings of early church fathers, biographies of missionaries, Anabaptist and Reformed theologians, as well as the works of Madame Guyon, a French mystic. These influences blended together, informing Nee’s study of scripture, and shaping his own unique voice as a teacher.

Watchman Nee cherished a vision for the unity of the Church.  He believed that divisions based on ethnicity or small doctrinal differences were an offense to Christ, and he possessed an unusual grace for recognizing the Holy Spirit at work in others, in language and expressions different from his own. 

If you ask a number of believers who have entered upon the normal Christian life how they came by their experience, some will say in this way and others in that. Each stresses his own particular way of entering in and produces Scripture to support his experience; and unhappily many Christians are using their special experiences and their special scriptures to fight other Christians. The fact of the matter is that while Christians may enter into the deeper life by different ways, we need not regard the experiences or doctrines as mutually exclusive, but rather complementary. One thing is certain, that any true experience of value in the sight of God must have been reached by way of a new discovery of the meaning of the person and work of the Lord Jesus.  That is a crucial test and a safe one. (The Normal Christian Life, Chapter 3)

For the Body of Christ to achieve its perfect function in unity, Nee understood that each member must be fully consecrated to God, fully submitted to the role God has chosen for him or her.  Personally, Nee felt called to stay awake in the spiritual darkness of China, alerting people to the coming of Christ.  This is why he chose the English name Watchman. It is also the reason he remained in China during the Cultural Revolution. This decision was an incarnation of his life’s teaching.

The trouble with most Christians today is that they have an insufficient idea of what God is asking of them. How glibly they say: “Lord, I am willing for anything.” Do you know that God is asking of you your very life?  There are cherished ideals, strong wills, precious relationships, much-loved work, that will have to go: so do not give yourself to God unless you mean it. God will take you seriously, even if you did not mean it seriously….

When the Galilean boy brought his bread to the Lord, what did the Lord do with it? He broke it…After you give yourself to the Lord, he begins to break what was offered to him. Everything seems to go wrong, and you protest and find fault with the ways of God. But to stay there is to be no more than just a broken vessel – no good for the world because you have gone too far for the world to use you, and no good for God either because you have not gone far enough for him to use you. You are out of gear with the world, and you have a controversy with God. This is the tragedy of many a Christian.

I am the Lord’s, and now no longer reckon myself to be my own but acknowledge in everything his ownership and authority. That  is the attitude God delights in, and to maintain it is true consecration. I do not consecrate myself to be a missionary or preacher; I consecrate myself to God, to do his will where I am, be it in school, office or kitchen or wherever he may, in his wisdom, send me.

In 1952 the Communists arrested Watchman Nee.  At that time, approximately 400 new churches had been planted as the fruit of his ministry. Nee spent the last twenty years of his life in prison.  He died in confinement in 1972, ever faithful to the Lord.  Nee’s final years cast a haunting, prophetic beauty over the closing words of his great English work, The Normal Christian Life.

Oh to be wasted! It is a blessed thing to be wasted for the Lord. So many who have been prominent in the Christian world know nothing of this.  Many of us have been used to the full – have been used, I would say, too much – but we do not know what it means to be “wasted on God.” We like to be always “on the go”: the Lord would sometimes prefer to have us in prison.  We think in terms of apostolic journeys: God dares to put his greatest ambassadors in chains.

Cogdells at table and at play

Our first four days in Austria were cold and rainy - quite cold with flooding in the local rivers.  Thankfully, we had a solid roof over our heads, delicious food and good company to pass the time.  We spent the first two days with Hans-Peter and Verena making necessary preparations for Trento and enjoying their company.  The Lang home blends the cozy comfort of a hobbit hole with the refinement of Rivendell. They have a beautiful garden in back with countless varieties of wild flowers.  It is one of the most peaceful, beautiful gardens I have ever seen, and also productive. In addition to herbs and greens, strawberries and fruit trees, tomatoes and onions, the wild flowers fuel an active bee hive.  This year Hans-Peter expects to harvest 240 pounds of the best honey we've ever tasted.

Breaksfast with Hans-Peter and Verena. Justus is holding up the honey.

Breaksfast with Hans-Peter and Verena. Justus is holding up the honey.

homemeade apple strudel

homemeade apple strudel

Justus and Clara entertain themselves while mom and dad are talking.

Justus and Clara entertain themselves while mom and dad are talking.

The second two days we spent with Hans-Peter and Verena's son Georg, his wife Maria and their four children, ages 2 - 11.  Despite the language barrier, our children were quite compatible.  You can imagine seven lively children playing indoors for 2 days!  What a blessing to have such open-hearted, fun hosts.  We love the junior Langs and had a wonderful time, praying, talking and playing together.

drinking cocktails at Georg and Maria's house

drinking cocktails at Georg and Maria's house

The little ones turned George and Maria's living room into an indoor playground.

The little ones turned George and Maria's living room into an indoor playground.

Our last day together the rain broke in the afternoon and we visited an old castle ruin.  Our European vacation was finally in full swing.  What is more fun for boys that scampering up, around, over old castle walls?

After the castle George drove us into Vienna where we are currently staying at the home of Hans and Elisabeth Heimbucher.  Hans and Elisabeth are some of the kindest, most gracious people I have ever met.  You get the feeling that their goodness goes all the way to the core. Hans is 69 years old; Elisabeth is 75.  Elisabeth is blind and Hans serves as her gentle and capable guide, lovingly describing all the sights as they walk.  The Heimbuchers have taken us on walking tours of Vienna the past two days.  We've visited the zoo, two Hapsburg palaces, the imperial gardens, playgrounds, St. Stephen's cathedral and a real Viennese coffee house which serves cakes fit for an emperor.  Both days we returned exhausted while they scurried to prepare our dinner.  Amazing!  The Heimbuchers will have their own post soon.  For now, this photo captures some of their beauty.

Hans describes an ant exhibit to Elisabeth.

Hans describes an ant exhibit to Elisabeth.

Melk


Our first day in Austria was spent touring the Melk monastery – an ancient (1000 year old) Benedictine monastery.  It is enormous and beautiful, in many ways more impressive than the imperial palace we saw yesterday in Vienna.  Our visit to Melk fit nicely with the book I am currently reading – They Followed His Call by Adrienne von Speyer.  As the title suggests, the book is about vocation, particularly the calling to priesthood or monasticism. The two experiences together help me better understand how religious orders serve the whole church, and really the whole world.

Benedictine Monastery, Melk, Austria

Benedictine Monastery, Melk, Austria

Monasticism is a visible sign of the total surrender to which every Christian is called.  Practiced well, it is also a witness to the joy and freedom the Lord gives to those who trust Him fully. Not every Christian is called to obey a superior, but all are called to obey scripture and the promptings of the Spirit.  Not all Christians are called to celibacy, but all are called to holiness in their sexuality.  Not every disciple is called to poverty, but all are called to put their treasure in the hands of God.

Von Speyer emphasizes that a call from God is intensely personal, speaking to the deepest longings of a soul.  But it is also bigger than the individual, belonging to the whole Church. I like this paragraph.

One is not called as a private person; rather something in the Church is called up in the person which awakens to a new liveliness…. He has already been integrated before he knows into what.  And when he confesses from now on, he does it as one called.  His errors no longer belong to him alone; they are a sign of a disorder which his new life situation cannot tolerate. His responsibility has become much greater, not on account of what he is, but on account of the surrender of himself about to take place: the seminary, the order, his new vocation cannot use him if he is like that!  Like John the Baptist, he “must decrease.”

I have found everything von Speyer says here about a calling to religious life applies to domestic life, and this makes sense as marriage is a sacrament.  I can no longer be like that because that hurts my children.  My sins are no longer my own because they wound my husband. The truth is that most of the spiritual growth, repentance, and healing I have experienced in the past twenty-five years have come through the pressures of domestic life. 

Thomas and I love the words of a 20th century German Catholic German priest, Fr. Kentenich. He says that marriage is the strictest monastic order.  Practiced well, I believe he may be right.  Thanks be to God for the rigors of our callings!

Lessons in Humility - Part 2

Meet the Langs.

Hans-Peter and Verena with Melkite sisters from Syria.

Hans-Peter and Verena with Melkite sisters from Syria.

Hans-Peter and Verena are the field marshals for Wittenberg 2017 in Europe. They have long served the Body of Christ in Austria, particularly in their ecumenical work with the Austrian Round Table. We first met the Langs at an Antioch gathering in Turkey, but our working relationship began in the spring of 2011, at the Antioch Council meeting in Berlin. With an introduction from George and Hanna, we shared the vision for Wittenberg 2017.  A couple of days later Hans-Peter and Verena asked to meet with us in the evening.  They had compiled a list of men and women whom they would approach with the vision.  Their list included Lutheran pastors, Pentecostals, a German prince, lay leaders in the charismatic renewal, a Catholic bishop, an archdeacon, and in time, they suggested, they might be able to approach a cardinal.  We were stunned, sobered, humbled as realized Wittenberg 2017 was moving from vision to action.  The Langs meant business!

After the Antioch Council meeting, we traveled with the Mileys to the Langs' house for a brief stay before our next gathering. What a beautiful place of refuge and hospitality!  One afternoon when several in our little party were resting, Verena took me aside. "I want to show you something," she said. She led me upstairs to large sunny room at the top of their house.  In one corner there was a heavy curtain setting apart a small, angular room.  She pushed aside the curtain and led me into their chapel. She took the consecrated host out of the tabernacle and said, "I will leave you alone with Jesus."

What an amazing peace settled over me when she left!  Though Jesus is always with us, I felt His closeness in an unusual way in that space. "Oh Jesus," I prayed in a silent, heavy sigh, "It is good to be alone with you!"

"Why do you like to be alone with me, Amy?" I heard Him respond in my mind.

His question took me by surprise. "Because You know me so well.  Because I am at ease with You. Because I can rest in Your presence."

"Amy," He replied. "You like to be with me because I am humble."

Well, that blew my mind! Of course, I knew in theory that Jesus was humble. He humbled Himself to obey the Father, to suffer on the cross.  But He was also God incarnate!  He could do anything.  I had never understood how omnipotence and humility fit together..... Could it be that Jesus the man was just as easy to be with as the Jesus I knew only in spirit?  Would I have been as comfortable with Him in first century Israel as I was in this little room in Austria two millennia later? Is humility always manifest in this way? My mind was spinning so fast that I forgot we were having a conversation.

"Amy," Jesus gently interrupted my internal musings. "What about the Mileys and the Langs?"

I knew exactly where He was going this time. "Well, Lord, you know that I am a little awed by them.  Sometimes I feel a bit shy and awkward in their presence, but I love being with them.  They bring out the best in me.  I feel known; I feel happy and hopeful and more fully alive in You when I am with them."

I felt Him smile at me one last time that day. "Yes, Amy.  They are humble too."

Lessons in Humility - Part 1

Meet the Mileys.

Though George and Hanna will not be traveling with us to Trento this year, they have opened many of the doors which make this gathering possible.  George and Hanna have been active in Christian ministry for decades.  They met and married while serving as missionaries in India with Operation Mobilization.  George went on to lead that organization's ship ministry.  When they returned to the States, George founded the Antioch Network.  We re-connected with the Antioch Network in 2008 at a gathering in Herrnhut, Germany - a meeting which changed the course of our lives. Since that time we have been blessed to know the Mileys as friends, mentors and co-laborers.  But they are more than that. Because of the depth of wisdom and teaching they have poured into our lives, because of their great (inexplicable) love for us, we consider them spiritual parents.

In the spring of 2011,Thomas and I visited the Mileys at their home in Germany.  One morning as we were sitting at table sipping tea, I asked this question.

"George, what is humility?  Talk to me about humility."

"Amy," George replied. "Humility is really very simple.  Humility is living in agreement with truth.  The truth is that we are glorious beings, loved by God and created in His image.  The truth is that we are also fallen beings, prone to sin, damaged by pain."

That was a moment of revelation for me.  Humility is simple!  It is not a matter of trying to act in a certain way, or trying to calculate other people's reactions, or trying to avoid recognition.  Such behavior is, in fact, contrary to the simplicity of humility.

The truth is that God has gifted each member of the Body for the edification and service of others.  To deny one's gifting, or to hide it,  is contrary to humility because it impedes the flow of blessing to others.  To demand recognition for one's gift or to exercise it at the expense of others is also contrary to humility.  And of course, resisting correction, direction or help from others is inconsistent with humility.

Humility is a quality I had always desired and prayed for, but until that day, I had a rather fuzzy understanding of what it actually was.  The question was on my because in a few days we would travel with the Mileys to Berlin for a meeting of the Antioch Network Council, then on to Austria for a prayer gathering at Fr. Peter Hocken's house.  I was very aware that most of the people in these meetings would be older than I, more experienced in ministry, more conversant in European church history, more mature by most any standard I could think of.   Frankly, I was intimidated.

But as George spoke, I had a moment of clarity.  Insecurity and humility have nothing in common.  Insecurity (and pride) come from comparing one's self to others.  Humility comes from from making Christ our standard.  Feelings of inadequacy and fear are inward looking.  Humility is always looking outward, to serve, to receive, to learn.

I am better able to listen and receive from others when I rest assured that God has given me gifts to share with them. And this is the paradox of humility - the more confident we are in God's great love and favor towards us, the more we can walk in humility.

Note - George went on to expand our short conversation into a full teaching which is available on the Mileys' website. 

http://georgeandhannamiley.com/teachings/maturing-toward-wholeness/2-humility/

 

 

 

 

 

Contemplating the Trinity

I am reading a book called Contemplating the Trinity by Raneiro Cantalamessa in preparation for our Wittenberg gathering in Trent. I am also studying a teaching by George Miley on The Trinity and Christian Unity.  Through an interesting chain of events, I have inherited the task of presenting a talk on the "The Unity of the Trinity as the Source of Christian Unity" at our gathering in Trento. On the one hand, it seems obvious that Christian unity should spring  directly from the Godhead. On the other hand, the mystery of the Trinity has always seemed too deep, too inaccessible, too theologically sticky for me to approach with any insight that could be practical or personal.

This is exactly the misconception which Cantalamessa adresses in his book.  He claims that Christianity's fundamental assertion about God, that He is One God in Three Persons, should shape our daily lives. The very title of the book, Contemplating the Trinity, intimidated me.  I didn't know how to contemplate a mystery too deep for me to understand, but I have felt an invitation through Cantalamessa's words, and I have been completely surprised and delighted, even enraptured by meditating on the mutual love and honor among the Persons of the Trinity. 

Here are some practical benefits of the discipline which have surprised me, in no particular order. 

1) I am not so afraid of eternity

If the Father, Son and Holy Spirit have joyfully shared one another's company for eternity past, without the stimulus of human drama, then I can hope that the future eternity promised to us in Christ will be joyful, interesting, engaging, stimulating. Thinking in purely human terms, it is hard for me to imagine an eternity which does not deteriorate into a nebulous boredom. (That is an honest confession of my not-so-holy fear, but it is one I think many of us share.) However, I know the Trinity is not bored! The Holy Trinity is full of life and creativity and love. Sharing eternity through Him, with Him, in Him, in the unity of the Holy Spirit - that is an eternity that makes my heart sing.

Corollary: Contemplating the eternal, creative nature of the Trinity, I can more easily imagine 5 billion years as reasonable gestation time for the earth to spring forth with life.  Not that my imagination has any bearing on truth, of course!  It's just that in my human limitations numbers as big as 5 billion or as small as 7 days make my mind reel with some sort of uneasiness which fades away when I imagine the Triune God waiting, planning, rejoicing in the company of Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

2) I experience joy.

When I think about the love between Father, Son and Holy Spirit, my heart is caught up in the joy described in Proverbs 8.  (I'm aware that the writer was speaking metaphorically of Wisdom, and certainly did not have a Trinitarian understanding of God, but I think the passage applies. In any case, the kind of joy I feel in this passage is the same type of joy I experience in contemplating the Trinity.)

22 The Lord possessed me in the beginning of his way, before his works of old.
23 I was set up from everlasting, from the beginning, or ever the earth was.
24 When there were no depths, I was brought forth; when there were no fountains abounding with water.....
30 Then I was by him, as one brought up with him: and I was daily his delight, rejoicing always before him;
31 Rejoicing in the habitable part of his earth; and my delights were with the sons of men.

 

3) I do not fear.

Freedom from fear is natural benefit of joy.  It is hard to fear when your heart is happy.

This is not a naive freedom, a hope that nothing bad will happen.  Terrible things have happened throughout history and will continue to happen until Christ's return. The Trinity itself is familiar with suffering.  The Father gave His only Son to die; Christ took the sin of the world upon Himself in agony; the Holy Spirit continues to be grieved by our sin.  And yet, there is a certainty of hope in the omnipotence of the Trinity. God holds the times in His hands, and "for the joy set before us" we can endure.

4) I am freed from selfish ambition.

Here is a quote from George's teaching.

Each Person of the Trinity relates to the others in harmony, submission, honor—agape love. The Son is submitted to the will of the Father. The Father has entrusted all authority to the Son. The Son departed to make room for the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit does not draw attention to Himself, but to the Son. There is no dishonor, competition, jealousy or unkindness among them. The Persons of the Trinity would simply not tolerate it. Matthew 26:39; 28:18; John 16:7, 13-14

When I contemplate the joy each Person of the Trinity experiences in yielding to another,  I feel the same kind of joy when my brothers and sisters receive honor.  I feel even more joy when I can honor them. As a very practical application, I have felt great joy inviting my friends to teach at the AHOP retreats,  And there are several more I have yet to invite!

In the embrace of the Trinity, I have no fear that I will not receive what I need.

5) I love others more fully.

Another quote from George.  

God created man—male and female—like Him. Human beings are designed for relational harmony with other persons—God, and fellow humans. Here God’s pattern is unveiled for marriage, family, society, Church. Relational oneness with God actualizes relational oneness with others. Harmonious relationships are deeply and beautifully fulfilling for every person. Genesis 1:26-27; 2:24

Within the love of the Trinity, I am safe to love others. I become more thankful for the love of family, friends and community which God has ordained.  When I begin to experience God's love for others, my heart expands and I can imagine entering into God's love for my enemies.  Not that rejection won't continue to sting.  At times I may need to oppose the words or actions of others.  But even in the place of conflict, I can enter into the love of God and ask for mercy, peace and healing.

 

In many ways, this practice of contemplating the Trinity feels like an invitation to walk through familiar doors which had always seemed forbidden or locked.  I am a happy child exploring new rooms in my own house.

John Paul the Great

I've never personally known anyone who disliked Pope John Paul II.  I know plenty of folk who consider the papacy a wrongheaded and corrupt institution. To their credit, my friends in this camp were able to look past the office and admire the man. I even knew an atheist who spoke about John Paul II with near religious reverence. (Granted, he was a Polish atheist.)  I am aware that St. John Paul II had his critics both inside and outside the Catholic Church, but the breadth of his appeal and influence was remarkable.

Though I could not begin to list the many superlatives and firsts associated with this pope, I will mention a few of facts which have bearing on a personal story.

One of Pope John Paul II's consistent messages was, "Do not be afraid."  He spoke these words in his first address as pope. He spoke them to the youth. He spoke them to his Polish countrymen resisting Soviet communism.  In contrast to some leaders who viewed the rapidly changing world of the 20th century as a threat to the Christian values and institutions, John Paul II believed the Church held answers to the ills of modernity.  He was an apostle who believed the gospel was the light of the world, the salt of the earth.

John Paul II took bold steps to recognize and bolster the Catholic faith in places far away from traditional halls of power - in the Global South, in the East, among the youth. He canonized 483 men and women, adding more saints to roles than had been added in the past five centuries.  These saints came from all parts of the world and all walks of life, a strong reminder of the catholic nature of the Church.  He also appointed 227 cardinals, significantly expanding the college and intentionally increasing representation from Latin America, Africa and Asia.

Vatican II's decree on ecumenism was close to John Paul II's heart.  Under his leadership, Catholic relations with other Christians traditions improved significantly.  Reconciliation with Orthodox leaders was a special priority, as was improving relations with Jews.  

Now for the story....

Somewhat to my surprise, I got up in the middle of the night to watch John Paul II's funeral.  I am not a night owl, and not much of a television watcher, but I felt a prompting that this was an event I needed to witness in real time with the rest of the world.

As the religious dignitaries began filing in , my heart rejoiced to see so many Orthodox patriarchs, so many Jews, so many cardinals with dark faces.  I was fascinated by the Eastern Rite patriarchs in their exotic clerical garb.  I was thrilled to see representatives from the Billy Graham Association and the Salvation Army alongside other Protestant emissaries. But there were two men who captivated my attention all night long - Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger (soon to be Pope Benedict XVI) and Brother Roger of Taize.

Both of these men had already made their marks on my soul - Cardinal Ratzinger through his writing, and Brother Roger through his ministry. In some ways they represented the two halves of my heart - the Catholic part and the Protestant part. We happened to visit Brother Roger's community in Taize the summer of 2000, one week after I felt released by God and my husband to become Catholic.  Seeing thousands of pilgrims coming to seek God in prayer and song, worshiping side by side was a great sign of hope to us.

For those who may not know, Brother Roger was a Swiss Reformed pastor who took the uusual step of founding a monastic community. Their mission was to pray for healing and reconciliation in post-War Europe.  After Vatican II the Protestant brothers were joined by a few Catholic monks.  These brothers of Taize prayed together, worked together and offered hospitality to hundreds of thousands of pilgrims. As an ecumenical community, they prayed for Christian unity while being mindful to honor the disciplines of their own traditions. This meant that Catholic brothers received communion only at Catholic masses.  Protestant brothers had their own communion services.  And there was a separate chapel for Orthodox Christians where they could celebrate  liturgy when a priest was present.

Brother Roger and John Paul II were friends. I was not very surprised to see that Brother Roger was given a front row seat for the funeral, especially as he was confined to a wheelchair.  But I was shocked, and moved to tears when Cardinal Ratzinger offered him the chalice during communion. There was no explanation given, no seeming discomfort on either side.  These men were not ignorant of the rules, nor were they the type to flaunt them. But there with the eyes of the world upon them, love transcended the rules. Not even the television pundits dared to comment. 

The next week I attended a women's retreat at my family's church, Hope Chapel.   In the evening there was a time for reflection and sharing.  Several ladies mentioned watching John Paul II's funeral. Some of these women were ex-Catholics bearing a lot of pain from their childhood. Others were Protestants without much prior exposure to Catholicism. All of them were deeply moved watching  the funeral mass.  Some cried as they found themselves healed of past hurts. Some remembered forgotten beauty from their childhood - a kind priest or nun, a piece of art which had touched them.  Many of them spoke about a new understanding or compassion for Catholic relatives and friends which came over them as they watched.  I remember one woman who said she called her Catholic mother after the funeral and asked forgiveness for some fight or misunderstanding.

As I sat listening to these women tell their stories, and as I remembered weeping on my own couch, I wondered how many lives Pope John Paul II touched in the hour of his death?  I remembered Paul's words to the Corinthians.

 But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, to show that the transcendent power belongs to God and not to us.

I imagined John Paul II as an especially large earthen vessel, full of fragrant oil, like the jar of perfume Mary poured on Jesus' feet. During his life, this apostle had done great things. The power of God was at work through him.  But when the vessel was broken, I believe the oil poured out in new and surprising ways, spreading its fragrance throughout the world.

 

 

Speaking of Vatican II....

Most everyone has seen photos of  Rome's big celebration on Sunday in which two popes were canonized -  St. John XXIII and St. John Paul II. Some writers have called these two men the "bookends of Vatican II."

John XXIII rocked the Catholic World by calling for a council of all the church's bishops.  "Throw open the windows of the church and let the fresh air of the spirit blow through,"  was his rallying cry.  The young bishop of Krakow, Karol Wojtyla, attended the council, probably never imagining he would become the pope charged with implementing the reforms of Vatican II and shepherding the faithful through the upheaval of change,

I think it is hard for people of my generation or younger to appreciate the enormous import of Vatican II, or its potential perils. For non-Catholics, it is even more challenging.  Much has been written about the doctrinal and pastoral contributions of St. John XXIII and St. John Paul II to Catholicism. I have nothing to add to that conversation, but I would like to reflect briefly on the blessings these two men bestowed upon the wider world.

This section of the post is under construction thanks to some input and correction from my friend Mary.  I hope to return to John XXIII when I have more time for study.

 

 

 

 

 

Vatican II, Ecumenism and Talking Heads

Whenever we fly to Europe for Wittenberg meetings or Antioch gatherings, I find myself singing this old Talking Heads tune, with modified lyrics.

You may find yourself in another part of the world,
You may find yourself in a beautiful Church, with beautiful saints,
And you may ask yourself, well, how did I get here?

For the past three years we Cogdells have met with a remarkable group of spiritual mothers and fathers for the purpose of prayer, reflection and repentance. We grieve over historical sins which have divided Christ’s Church as well as those sins which continue to cause pain and division. We ask God for healing.  It is a pretty lofty vision for a couple of lay people from Texas.  Some might even think it presumptuous.  Certainly, we do not wish to overstep our boundaries.  Wittenberg 2017 is not an official movement of any denomination.  We do not participate in formal ecumenical dialogues.  Rather, Wittenberg 2017 is prayer movement comprised of clergy and lay people, Lutherans, Catholics, Anglicans, Evangelicals and Jewish disciples of Yeshua.

Paying with friends from the Antioch Network in  a chapel of Luther's church in Wittenberg

Paying with friends from the Antioch Network in  a chapel of Luther's church in Wittenberg

Recently I read this passage from Fr. Peter Hocken’s  latest book, Pentecost and Parousia, which gives me great hope for the work of Wittenberg 2017.

At the Second Vatican Council, in its decree on ecumenism the Catholic Church officially embraced the ecumenical movement in its goal of restoring the full visible unity of the one body of Jesus Christ: “Today, in many parts of the world, under the influence of the grace of the Holy Spirit, many efforts are being made in prayer, word and action to attain that fullness of unity which Jesus Christ desires. This sacred council, therefore, exhorts all the Catholic faithful to recognize the signs of the times and to take an active and intelligent part in the work of ecumenism.” (Unitatis Redintegratio, 4.)

Perhaps my favorite quote from Vatican II’s statement on ecumenism is this: “There can be no ecumenism worthy of the name without interior conversion.”   

I love this recognition that disunity cannot be addressed solely through theological dialogue.  Christian division carries a long history of sin and pain. It is one thing to disagree about matters of Church hierarchy or nuances of doctrine; it is quite another to run your brother out of town or burn him at the stake.  We may think those dark days of persecution have been buried in the past, but I have come to believe that historical sins will continue to haunt us until they are brought to the light for repentance.  It is true we have come a long way, but we are still subject to ignorance, to arrogance, to the hurt of exclusion or misunderstanding. This is true for every Christian tradition.  And if we dig deep, I suspect many of us discover resentment or distrust springing from the injustices suffered by our ancestors.

Doctrinal argument cannot heal the wounds of the heart. Only God can work this miracle. Unless we draw close to our Father, we fail to recognize our brotherhood with others.  If we do not walk in the light of Christ, we cannot see with His eyes. Until we live in the comfort of the Holy Spirit, we tend to act defensively toward others. Without recognizing the depth of forgiveness we have received, it is difficult to extend mercy, or to grieve our own offenses.

In my mind, this call to interior conversion goes hand in hand with the council’s exhortation to the laity “to take an active and intelligent part in the work of ecumenism.” If conversion is necessary for unity, conversion must permeate the entire Body of Christ; it cannot be a top-down mandate.  Certainly, good leadership is helpful. But ultimately, we will see full unity only when every member of the Body is performing its unique function, serving the other members with grace and honor and order.

Some say we will never see unity before Christ returns.  They may be right. We are all immature when we come to Jesus.  Conversion takes time. Our wounds are deep, our differences not easily resolved. Yet, just before His passion, our Lord prayed this prayer, knowing we would struggle with division, “I do not pray for these only, but also for those who believe in me through their word, that they may all be one; even as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that thou hast sent me.” (John 17:20-21) I believe we honor Jesus when make His prayer our prayer, our hope, and our work.

So we set of to Europe once again, praying our small efforts will bring glory to the Father, to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.

(and now I hear the chorus to that old song - same as it ever was,  same as it ever was)

The Good Thief

This Easter our daughter Peggy marked a big milestone in her spiritual journey.  She was received in the Catholic Church, and as customary, she chose a patron saint for her confirmation. Dismas, the good thief crucified with Jesus, might seem an odd choice for a pretty young girl with missionary aspirations. Fr. Chuck asked jokingly if she was planning a life of crime. But I couldn’t be happier about a spiritual model for my daughter; Dismas is one of my great heroes.

icon by Lissa Janknegt

icon by Lissa Janknegt

When I was a child, every time I heard mention of the good thief in sermons, he was used as an example of the never-too-late-to-be-saved principle.  Fair enough.  Dismas did have a nick of time conversion accompanied by a glorious promise straight from the mouth of Jesus. But when I was in my early 30’s, I had a rather mystical experience which made me see Dismas, and my Lord, in an entirely new light.

I think I was in the exhaustion of early pregnancy with our third child at the time.  I took an afternoon nap and upon waking, I had a vision - something like a dream in a semi-conscious state.  In my mind’s eye I saw Jesus on the cross in between the two thieves.  Jesus was in the center of the picture, but my attention was drawn to one of the thieves at his side.  Then clear as day, I heard this text from Matthew 25.

“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in,  I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’”

I was astounded because I understood that, in this vision, Jesus was speaking about his friend, the good thief.  You see, when Jesus was crucified, he was naked.  He allowed himself to be stripped and mocked, beaten and humiliated.  The crowds condemned him; Peter denied him; soldiers taunted him; even the dying criminal at his side jeered. But Dismas spoke up and covered Jesus with his words.  He defended Jesus’ honor; he recognized the injustice of Jesus’ sentence.  Then he said some of the craziest words in scripture.

“Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.”

What was this man thinking??!!  At the hour of Christ’s crucifixion, who else could imagine that he would come into a kingdom?  Who else had faith that Jesus could and would still come as the triumphant Messiah?  Who else professed a hope beyond the grave?  Those words of faith must have been like water to Jesus’ soul, like a cloak of honor thrown over his exposed body.

Like all of us, Dismas was saved through grace.  His sins, which were many, were pardoned. But I don't believe it was only pity which moved Jesus in the cross. When the two embraced on the other side of the grave, I imagine Jesus with a big smile, saying truthfully, “Come, blessed of my Father.  Enter the Kingdom prepared for you.  For I was naked and you clothed me!”

I pray that Peggy would always have the faith of the Good Thief, to believe in Christ’s coming Kingdom no matter how bleak her circumstances.

Stepping Out

Today I sheepishly launch my little boat out into the great blogosphere.  Those who know me well, feel free to laugh.  I have protested often that I would never do such a thing.  But recently I phoned a friend on the Wittenberg 2017 board to discuss some writing I had in mind.  My idea was to write about Wittenberg 2017 as a pilgrimage, to elaborate on the historical significance of sites we have chosen as meetings places, to reflect on the spiritual nature of pilgrimage, to invite people to share their own pilgrim stories and photos. My friend suggested that our website was not yet ready for the content, but a blog would be a great place to start.

During the course of that conversation, I found my feelings shifting. I realized that our family is currently stepping out on pilgrimage in significant ways, and we have invited many to join us. In mid-May we will travel to Austria, then to Trento, Italy for the next gathering of Wittenberg 2017.  When we return, we will move into Christ the Reconciler, our new home in Elgin. Then begins the adventure of hosting a retreat center which we pray will be a resting place for many pilgrims on their journeys.  As I spoke with my friend on the phone, fears of making my writing public gave way to joy at the thought of sharing this adventure with friends and fellow pilgrims. Who understands the paths of the heart?

I realized the matter was settled when I began considering titles.  What would be a good title for a blog on the theme of pilgrimage?  or a retreat center ? or a house of prayer?  The next day it hit me; the title must come from Psalm 84.

The opening lines of Psalm 84 make it natural favorite for houses of prayer.

How lovely is your dwelling place,
    Lord Almighty!
 My soul yearns, even faints,
    for the courts of the Lord;
my heart and my flesh cry out
    for the living God.
 Even the sparrow has found a home,
    and the swallow a nest for herself,
    where she may have her young—
a place near your altar,
    Lord Almighty, my King and my God.
 Blessed are those who dwell in your house;
    they are ever praising you.

My heart leapt when we first saw our new home on FM 1704 because the front portico was covered with swallows’ nests.  Surely that was a good sign for a house of prayer!

Personally, my favorite lines from the psalm have always been the middle ones about pilgrimage.

 Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
    whose hearts are set on pilgrimage.
As they pass through the Valley of Baca,
    they make it a place of springs;
    the autumn rains also cover it with pools.
 They go from strength to strength,
    till each appears before God in Zion

Valle Grande in New Mexico, my favorite valley. Photo by Thomas Cogdell.

Valle Grande in New Mexico, my favorite valley. Photo by Thomas Cogdell.

I cannot remember a time, even in early childhood, when I did not fantasize of seeing God face to face, of walking the streets of the New Jerusalem, of meeting the saints of old.  In this sense I believe my heart has always been set on pilgrimage.  But like all pilgrims, I have grown weary on the way – discouraged, thirsty, injured, lost. Thankfully, I have never failed to find springs in my Valley of Baca left by other pilgrims .  What would I have done without the scriptures? Without the writings of St. Teresa or C.S. Lewis or the stories of the saints?  Certainly I could not have carried on without the love and counsel and prayer of my friends. 

What could be more wonderful, delightful or satisfying than leaving springs in the desert as one walks in  company toward Zion?   The image reminds me of Good King Wenceslaus whose footprints warmed the snow for his faltering page.  Such grace seems too lofty a prayer, but when I read this psalm, I cannot deny it is my hope.  So we set out to Europe and to Elgin praying from Isaiah 58 that “the glory of the Lord will be our rearguard” for He is the only one who can make springs rise in the wilderness.

Throughout the month of May I will be writing about our trip to Europe and the saints travelling with us. I hope some of our friends in Austin will enjoy dropping in on us through the blog.  Better yet, maybe some of you will feel moved to join us in prayer. In time, I hope that some of you will share your own stories of pilgrimage here.